Category Archives: awkward

awkward

Brookline “Parking”

The Town of Brookline’s parking restrictions are ridiculous. So much so, that its own law enforcement can’t keep up with the regulations. I pay $300 every quarter to park my car in a designated lot, “Lot 1,” which runs along the C-Line on Beacon Street. Despite my timely and sufficient funding of this space, between Washington Square and Coolidge Corner, I have received two parking tickets in said spot within the window which I am allowed to park—8 p.m. to 9 a.m. on weekdays and Saturday, all day Sunday.

Now I don’t really know whom to blame for this obvious incompetency. Is it the police officer who is ignorant of his own jurisdiction’s parking policies? Just this morning I caught one such Johnny Law issuing me an undeserved ticket. He claimed he couldn’t decipher the mysterious markings of my parking permit firmly fastened to the inside of the car’s back window, which clearly read “Overnight Parking” and “Lot 1”. Is it the town’s transporation department, who can’t seem to keep law enforcement abreast of developments within the intricate inner workings of its complex parking legislation? Is it the woman at the parking office in the Brookline Police Department, with whom I’ve spoken twice now on the phone (I’m assuming it’s been the same woman both times, unless there are two females who speak in the very same tone and cadence of broken English) who insists that I must leave my spot by 8 a.m. every morning, despite the fact that a sign in front of every designated space clearly displays “9 a.m.”?

Frankly, I just don’t know. Fortunately, the Town of Brookline Department of Transportation has a Twitter account…

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awkward, Verse

I’M NOT DRIVIN’ HIM to the AIRPORT!!: Seinfeld conversations…

Jerry and George sitting in a booth talking at Monk's Restaurant

She was like 6-foot-5.

GEORGE
It’s my life dream to have sex with… just a giant woman.
JERRY
So you’ve set different goals for yourself than Edison, Magellan, these sorts of people?
GEORGE
Magellan?!
JERRY
Magellan, the famous explorer.
GEORGE
Magellan??
JERRY
C’maahhn. Around the World! Who do you like?
GEORGE
I like de Soto.
JERRY
de Soto? What did he do?
GEORGE
de Soto, the conquistador. He discovered the Mississippi.
JERRY
Oh. Ya. Like they weren’t gonna find that anyway.
GEORGE
Don’t you have to drive Keith Hernandez to the airport?
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awkward, Verse

Fun Fact #1

"Is this where the real Caesar stayed?"

“I can’t get a sig’ on my beeper.”

I tried typing that into my phone once and uncovered a hidden feature on the BlackBerry. If you type the first three letters of the word ‘signature,’ then SPACE, the smart phone will automatically insert a preset electronic signature into the field, like something you’d see at the end of an official email.

Hit the ‘Menu’ button. Then select ‘Settings’ (the little, orange wrench icon). Scroll over to ‘Options’. Find ‘Owner’ in the alphabetical list. Now enter the text you wish to sign off with.

 

 

 

 

When I hit ‘sig,’ this appears:

"Is there a payphone bank?"

Mike Del Rosso
Asst. to the Traveling Sec’y
movierain® productions
4 Garden Ct. #5
Cambridge, MA 02138

del@mikedelrosso.com

This text also appears on the home screen when you lock the phone. It’s like luggage tags for your high-tech baggage.

Mike Del Rosso
Asst. to the Traveling Sec’y
movierain® productions
4 Garden Ct. #5
Cambridge, MA 02138

del@mikedelrosso.com

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