screenplay

get weird.

RADCLIFFE and THOMAS. They just want to be noticed. They can’t seem to get out from under cool NETWORK correspondents’ ubiquitous shadows.

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Dwindling as shrinking saplings, RAD and THOMAS thus resort to a pirated MOVIERAIN technology, an uncannily efficient and astoundingly captivating film production technique (detailed specifics of LADYBUG DROID (LBD) 7.0 on script pages 2, 24-28, at mikedelrosso.com).

RAD and THOMAS are thus propelled to stardom on the wings of their LBD 7.0, as quick fixes sometimes do. But repercussions and reverberations are attracting the attention of unwanted guests. This omega-level tech has also garnered the gaze of an extra-dimensional entity, known only as the GHOST.

Can’t a guy just get weird anymore?

The serenity of a BLACK SCREEN breaks as a HEAVY BAR DOOR bursts open into–

INT. DREAD PIRATE DRAGON — NIGHT

POV RAD

RAD walks down the BAR.

SWING over DOWN THE BAR to the BOYZ.

THE BOYZ hold their KEYS OUT under the HAZY LIGHTS. Their SHINY METAL glistens in the MISTY FOG.

A YUPPY fails miserably at ordering a MANHATTAN. Needless to say at this point, the wine selection at the DREAD PIRATE DRAGON is RED or WHITE.

YUPPY
Ummm…. Excuse me! Can I palease get a Manhattan, and what kind of Ryeee do you have??

The YUPPY tries to yell her order over the WALL of GENTLEMEN now gently JANGLING their KEYS.

AND THEY SING (to the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”)

BOYZ
Get the fuck, get the fuck, get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! Ohhh… get the fuck OUT!

MORTIFIED, the YUPPY executes a 180 and BEELINES it from the BAR.

A BEAT

C.U. RAD, who’s now SITTING at an END STOOL.

RAD stands up on his STOOL, holding his MUG HIGH.

The BAR is SILENT.

RADCLIFFE
(to: BOYZ)
Let’s get weird.

BOYZ
Get weeiiiiiirrrrddd…

CHEERS ERUPT and everybody GUZZLES down THEIR BEERS.

HARD CUT TO BLACK:

STILL BLACK — THE LETTERS ‘g-e-t- -w-e-i-r-d-.’ TYPE ACROSS an otherwise BLANK SCREEN.

get weird.” is the weekly segment RADCLIFFE and his colleague THOMAS produce from the Olde Neighborhood. RAD and THOMAS are employed by the ever-looming NETWORK, whose modern and imposing presence foreshadows the sheer power of its broadcast reach. The NETWORK’s 24/7 premium news programming sets the TICK by which all other TIME ZONES wind their WATCHES.

COOL AF CORRESPONDENTS descend from all over the globe for their exclusive chance to report for this hallowed institution. RAD had never felt so out-classed, himself a local in the Olde Neighborhood.

He and THOMAS currently grind it out in the NETWORK’s PIT, as lowly PAs, performing odd jobs mostly for the state-of-the-art production facilities’ ELITE.

The DUO’s only saving grace is their weekly 1-minute segment that usually takes all week to film and produce. But, lately, RAD’s been playing around with some pirated technology. It allows THOMAS and HIM to produce the MOVIERAIN, an unorthodox filming style that can record the entirety of spacetime in an enclosed area. Like a bar.

THE BOYZ are churning out the FOOTAGE like there’s no tomorrow. There may even be no such thing as tomorrow, as things really start to “get weird.

And now, this…

A synopsis of the cult cinematic classic “Napoleon Dynamite.”

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